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Showing posts with label adoration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoration. Show all posts

February 24, 2012

He holds the seven spirits of God

“...These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God. " - Revelation 3:1

“The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD—”- Isaiah 11:2

O Jesus, You have the Spirit of the Living God! You are just like Your Father. Everything that is good, noble, right, just, and true, this is in You, from You. You lack no good thing. You hold the seven spirits of God - flames of fire that ever blaze before the throne of God. 
You are the wise one - the only wise God. You say to the wisest of earthly beings, "Do not think that your wisdom is something worth bragging about! The only thing worthy glorying in is that you know Me. Your greatest wisdom to Me is as foolishness!" I profess to know nothing when I stand before You. I am but a stupid creature! 
Jesus, You have all understanding. This is good news for my life right now and for every difficult season of pressure or misunderstanding that will come my way. This is good news for every single mom, widow, homeless person, one who is bed-ridden or sick, or even for the ones just plain in the midst of perplexity - You understand. You are not far off, unaware, distant from our troubles. You have intimate understanding, and compassion and grace flow forth from that heart of understanding. 
Before the people, even when Your heart ached of loss, You had compassion on them. Your heart was moved because You understood that they were like sheep without a shepherd. Your eyes see past outward appearances and actions - that seem to aim at irritating the soul - and You see straight to the heart.
Deep is Your understanding. Profound is Your insight. No wonder You are the Wonderful Counselor! Being the wise one with understanding alone makes You qualified to counsel. You not only know the right answers, but you have the best intentions in mind all the time. You see my heart, know my frame, understand my circumstances, and therefore Your words reach my heart infused with grace, and You nourish me again and again. 
So I lift up my soul to You and You alone. Where else does my help come from? You alone. You alone. You alone. 
And You don't simple give counsel and then send me on my merry way. You hold all power in both heaven and earth. All power is at Your disposal. Anything You say, You have the power to produce. Your power makes You the faithful one because nothing can stand in Your way! Death, life, the present, the future, angels, demons, height, depth, powers, or anything in creation - no, nothing can separate You from me. Your power is absolute, total, thorough, enough.
I recently heard a mathematician say that in studying babies in utero and the complexity of the human makeup, his confession is that the highest of mathematics cannot keep up! NASA's most complex algorithms and technologies cannot come close to comparing to a single cell let alone a 6 week old baby in the womb! 
I love Your mind, Jesus! You have all wisdom, and You have all knowledge. You are the God who did Genesis 1, and You are the Oen who is forming baby girl within me even at this very moment - to the confounding of planet earth's most knowledgeable and learned men and women! You alone are God!
Oh, who could not fear You and glorify Your name? There is none like You! All-powerful You rule the nations. Nothing is beyond Your knowledge, Your grasp, and yet You are intimately acquainted with the faintest movements of my heart!
You unite all of the broken, fragmented, and mismatched pieces of me - emotions, thoughts, and actions - and You bind them together with the truth of Your Word. I am being made whole, complete, as I come into line with You.
You are holy, God, and I worship You as the creatures around Your throne. As Your fires continue to burn, I marvel and acknowledge the blaze, and say, "Draw me away with You! Take me up in the Spirit and let me gaze on Your fire and be changed! Let the intensity of Your heat melt my cold heart. Change me. Spirit of the Living God, You who dwell within me, burn with an unquenchable, jealous flame!"
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February 11, 2012

Among the Lampstands

Among the lampstands... - Revelation 1:13

O Jesus, You walk in the midst of the lampstands. Whenever we are gathered - 2 or 3 in Your name - You are there. That is Your promise. You never forsake our gathering. Much of the time this truth lies beyond my awareness, but oh, how You infuse me with confidence when I remember! I don't sing to the air. I look right at You and sing right to You because You are here! 
When I have eyes to see this reality, it's like the Garden again. I can walk with God as You walk among us. It's like the Garden again - face to face, heart to heart. You, O God, are with me!
This is not a wish or a pipe dream but reality. It is not a mirage - something too good to be true that haunts my heart's aspirations. This is the true state of things if only I have eyes to see beyond what is seen.
How greatly You show love in that You come. You always come. The chorus as I'm writing this today in the Prayer Room is "Such love, so wholly other than! My heart it overflows! My heart it overflows!" Your presence among us is Your commitment to us. It is a statement of Your heart. Surely You are able to keep us and preserve us to the end.
Your presence is my aim. Your presence is my hope. Your presence is my joy, peace, and support. And I know that my calling out to You, the desiring of my heart for Your presence, is more than alluring to You. I need not manipulate You (as if I could anyway!) to come. You are always there. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Isn't that Your promise, too? 
So this heart does overflow today at the thought of Your faithfulness and Your nearness. Who is a God like You? Surely there is no one. Closer than a brother, You are. I bless You for your willingness, Your heart's desire to be numbered among us!

February 10, 2012

Voice Like a Trumpet

“On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet.” - Revelation 1:10 TNIV

For a time, Jesus, You existed on this earth as a mere baby, just a speechless child, totally dependent upon Your mom and dad for everything - sustenance, clothing, warmth, shelter, and safety. You were an ordinary cooing and crying baby, but You were, oh, so uncommon!
I wonder, in all Your earthly days, if You ever yelled other than when You responded in righteous indignation toward the self-righteous religious men and when You let out a cry in agonizing pain on the Cross. Your disciples had surely never heard You raise Your voice as is common for ordinary men.
How shocking it must have been - especially to a prisoner's ears - to hear a voice as loud as a trumpet, resounding! You are the Living Word, Jesus. You are the One from everlasting who spoke creation into existence. You are the Word of God - spoken. You still speak and hold all things together. You speak and things happen. You speak and demons flee. You speak and angels do Your bidding. Your thunderous voice fills the heavens. Your voice imparts grace, strength, fear of the Lord, freedom, knowledge of God, revelation, and more. 
So there on Patmos - by the Word of God - Your voice trumpeted and released and announced the revelation of Jesus Christ. You revealed Yourself by appearing but also by the Words that You spoke...and You are still speaking. You speak to me in that still, small voice. Can my frame sustain the reverberation of Your trumpeting sound? John knew You best, and he fell like a dead man!
I ask for it all! However You will come, come. However You want to speak, speak! I know that this voice of Yours changes everything. The waves of Your sound penetrate to the very core of my being, and I am changed from the inside out. Yes, I could (and at times do) choose to ignore that voice, but oh, how it haunts and taunts me when I do! You will not relent. Your voice spoke creation into existence, and Your desire is to keep speaking to me until every thought, word, and deed are alight and aligned with new creation.
So speak, beautiful Man, speak. I am listening.

January 3, 2012

Water to the Thirsty Soul


It's a new day, a new year, and what is more refreshing than a fresh start? I love new beginnings, and I am excited about this new year with fresh vision, motivation, and expectation for all that the Lord has in store for this year. I sense much peace and rest deep in my heart concerning this year - like everything has its place and I can therefore relax and just trust in the One steering this ship!
I also feel the subtle but steady invitation from the Lord for my heart at this time - deeper into the place of abiding, leaning. John 15 has my name on it! It's everywhere I turn right now, which excited me because that is a mark of the Lord's leadership in my life. He is not divided. He speaks singularly and very simply to my soul. Thank You, Lord, for that!
Two other veins that I desire to continue and go deeper in this year are adoration and thanksgiving. I want a heart of gratitude that loves God well for who He is and all He's done! So it is my aim to continue posting regular "Adoration" posts - linking up with a friend's site on Mondays. I am more than pleased to have you join in with me and let the chorus of praise ascend heavenward, but I feel that these postings are mostly a way of having accountability for my own heart! If I come to the start of another week with nothing to post by way of adoration, then that means that I have been too busy. I have lost my way and been caught up in the "tyranny of the urgent"when only "one thing is needed" (Lk. 10:42). My desire is not to neglect this one necessary thing - to sit at His feet, hear His words at the heart level, and do what I can - pour out costly fragrance upon Him from a lovesick heart (Mk. 14:8).

So without further adieu, feast your eyes upon the Living God, the fountain of all life, and let Him quench your soul's deepest thirst.


“LORD, you are the hope of Israel; all who forsake you will be put to shame. Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the LORD, the spring of living water" (Jeremiah 17:13 TNIV).

O Lord, You are the spring of living water! Even from Eden came living waters that watered the Garden that You placed there. Throughout the Biblical narrative, rivers and waters played a key role, and understandably seeing that water is a very necessity for life! Water represents a quenching of thirst, the satisfying of one of man's innate needs.
And You, Lord, You alone sustain life itself. You hold creation together by the word of Your power, and then You sustain it with life-giving waters. From You alone come living waters. In every season I feel the tug on my soul, the longing for more, the desire for something that truly, deeply, and totally satisfies. Imitations have their heyday, but they wane, leaving a distasteful residue on my soul along with a deeper ache for that which is authentic.
I remember the fall of 2001 well. I had returned from a semester studying in the very religious but spiritually dark nation of Spain. I was tired and weary of the Christian life. The ache in my soul was that "there must be more," but the only "refreshment" others around me could offer was to simply, "be" a better person, which was the very reason I was so battle-worn. I had been doing "the Christian life" on my own, in my own strength.
And I remember the day - a week before the historic and horrific September 11th day - that my faithful roomie and friend shared with me about the infilling of the Holy Spirit! Her words were altogether foreign to my ears. It was like a whole new world had been stretched out before me. Life was in view! And those early days, oh, those early days of reading my Bible anew! It was as if You snuck into my room at night when I was sleeping and wrote things in my Bible - things I had never seen before but seemed to be in 3D or technicolor before my enlightened eyes, "Greater things than these you will do," and "the water that I shall give [you] will become in [you] a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life" (Jn. 4:14). What? Where had these verses been my entire Christian life?
I remember those early tastes of Your living water! Yes, I tasted and testified that You are good! You are the fountain, the river of living water that flows from the highest of heights and reaches to the deepest of depths of me - the garden of my heart, the locked garden that is Yours alone. You quench my thirst and then cause it to intensify, strengthening and intensifying my dependency upon You.
Your waters, though, many have forsaken. Many along the way have gone their own way to the land of their own choosing - places to which Your living waters do not flow. "Why," cries my soul, "would anyone forsake such a One who satisfies so well?" But in my heart of hearts, I know the answer. I have lived the answer too many times over.
It takes humility to drink from Your waters. It takes asking and waiting and relying upon the Unseen.
Through all of the difficulty, though, of getting such a drink, my heart says, "Your face I will seek! From Your river alone will I drink - no other source can satisfy!"
You do satisfy the thirsty soul. You help the needy ones not allowing them to stumble from weariness. You take the little they have and make it enough, more than enough. You multiply bread in the wilderness and cause water to flow from a rock! You turn desert places, wastelands, into fruitful valleys with life-giving streams.
On You I wait! I don't turn away from You trying to satiate this thirst some other way. I turn to You. I don't forsake You. I wait upon You, and You are worth waiting for. Only You sustain. Your waters give life when all other streams have wasted away.
I know that if I ask You, You will give me living water that will become in me a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life, so I ask of You, "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst!"

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December 1, 2011

Vindication Adoration


Ps. 57:2 (TNIV), "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me." 

Oh, how often I argue, defend, and protect myself - and all without necessity! You are the Most High God! All others are mere gods - idols that can neither see, hear, nor speak. But You, God over all, have taken notice of me. And even more than that, You are the One who fights for me! You plead my case. You are incessantly interceding to Your Father on my behalf! Surely Your prayers will be answered! Though there be a delay, You will have Your way! Your way, Your will, and Your love will prevail.
O my soul, bless the Lord!
Insults, blasphemies, and accusations were hurled directly at You, and yet You were led like a lamb to the slaughter - totally silent. You did not use Your limitless power to defend Yourself. Even now - moment after moment - mankind that You created accuses and blasphemes You and Your good name. And they think, as only fools do, that there is no God only because Your justice comes forth in the time of Your choosing.
Nonetheless, You will come. You will vindicate. You will vindicate Yourself and every righteous one who loves and calls upon Your name.
I praise You, Lord, for Your ways because it is in the waiting - in the embracing the "sting" within by not speaking and standing up for myself - that our relationship is deepened. Intimacy is costly, but oh, so worth it! You remember those swallowed moments of pride, and when You come, You'll bring Your reward with You - even for moments as those. You not only remember, though, You are there in those moments, and if I choose to remain silent as You did, walk in the path that You laid, I am with You where You are.
You are the One to whom I cry out - You and no other. You showed me the way. Thank You for Your ways!

November 21, 2011

Adoring the God of Creation

Jeremiah 16:6, 13 (tNIV), "No one is like you, LORD; you are great, and your name is mighty in power. Who should not fear you, King of the nations? This is your due. But God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding. When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he made the clouds rise from the ends of the earth. He sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses."

I praise You, God of heaven and earth! You alone are the Creator. You alone are God. All others who are exalted in our hearts and minds - those other than You that we put our hope and trust in - are mere idols. They are scarecrows in the garden of our hearts - elevated but unable to see, hear, speak, or do any good (Jer. 10:3-4). You alone have power over the heavens, the earth, and my circumstances.
All You do is wise. Your leadership is perfect. Help me to look up today, see the sky, and consider You as its Creator. If You are the God who did Genesis 1, who should not fear You and glorify Your name? Truly no can boast the same.
You are worthy of praise today, God, from my heart overflowing through my lips as well as through every created thing. When the strong winter winds strike and bite my face, remind me where they originated - Your storehouses! I praise You God of the wind. I praise You God of the rain, thunder, lightning, and clouds that cover the earth.
Your glory is revealed by all of creation. I take time to see it and hear its song of praise. Both day and night speak of You and display Your unparalleled knowledge. Who is like You? Surely there is no one! I praise You for placing reminders of Your burning heart all around me - calling out to me, saying, "Worship God! He desires you and is after your heart! Just look around! He did all of this to capture your attention, to get you to look up, to remember that there is One greater than you in the midst of your circumstances. Is the God who made all beauty blind to the intimate details of your life? Is the God who made all creation's sounds deaf to your faintest cries? Is the God who formed Everest, the ocean's deep, and the universe impotent, lacking when it comes to your needs? Worship God! He is an all-consuming fire! This is His due."
So I choose to look up, to look to You today, God of the heavens, Creator of everything that is. I lack;  You are full. I am weak; You have all power. I have limitations; You know none but the ones with which You limit Yourself - man's free will. My vision is myopic; Yours is telescopic seeing the end from the beginning, behind the closed curtain of the horizon. My perspective is narrow; Yours is panoramic.
In this praise I get caught up in the bigness of You. May my feet never touch the ground again!

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November 16, 2011

Abounding Love

Another (almost Monday) word of adoration...

Psalm 86:15, "But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."
Song of Songs 2:8, "Listen! My Beloved! Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills."


My cup is empty, Lord, but I come to You whose cup never runs dry. You are the God of miracles, rich supply, and abundance. At the Cana wedding, you turned what would have been an embarrassing lack into extravagant provision. You delight in Your abundance. You're never the God who has just enough. With You there is always more. I praise You for the more.
Twice You multiplied food, and when the miracles were all said and done, the people had eaten just scraps or a small portion, but they were filled full - with plenty of leftovers remaining!
Who are You that Your love is so immense? My love is so small. My heart is not so slow to anger. My compassion wanes when my comforts are thwarted or when time progresses beyond my expectations.
O God of abounding love, come and fill me up! It's Your abundance that this heart, this family, this overly indulgent and materialistic nation need! I praise You for Your never-running-dry love, Your coming-after-me love, Your good-til-the-last-drop-and-there's-never-a-last-drop love! I am so grateful for Your "never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always, and forever love" (a refrain from the Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name)!
While my thoughts are small, Yours are big; while my fears paralyze, Your love abounds and pursues and persists to bound over every obstacle, every fear. I see walls; You leap over them. I see holes; You  fill them.
So abound today, God! Show Yourself again and give me eyes to see abundance that surrounds me. Pour out love. Fill that I might return it again. I praise You now and will eternally give thanks for Your richness and generous plenty.

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November 8, 2011

Adoration

Psalm 145:1, "I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise Your name for ever and ever."

I have never lived in a monarchy, so I don't know the feeling of excitement and euphoria that surround the arrival of a king to your town with all the pomp and circumstance that follow, all the formalities and extravagance. Living in a democracy where our primary leader is elected every four years and can have power no more than eight, I don't know what it is to know only one or two royalties to lead in my lifetime, having the constancy of familiarity, an abiding trust therein.
But even the most stable of earthly governments pales in comparison to You, O God, my King! And if the light were to shine in upon the leaders of this earth, that which has been hidden in the shadows would be exposed - pride, waste, extravagance in the name of building their kingdom (upon the backs of their people).
But who is a God like You, Lord? There is no other king like You! You are worthy of all honor, praise, and glory, yet a lowly, hidden-away manger is where You chose to come forth. You lived in obscurity, embraced misunderstanding, and chose to be unrecognized, veiling your glory, coming in our likeness. Misunderstood in life. Reviled in death. You died among revolutionaries made common thieves and were buried in a borrow tomb.
Oh, but there will be a day when all eyes will see! I long for that day! I praise You for that day! And so I exalt You now. I praise You now. I lift You higher. I make known with my life that You are good and Your way is perfect. In this day of volunteering - while it's still day - I volunteer my praise, my love. One day every knee will bow and every tone will sing Your praise, but I don't wait for that day. Here and now in the incomplete, in the imperfect, in the unfinished I love You and I praise You, God!
I praise You now, and I'll praise You forever. I'll never stop praising You for who You are and what You've done. As You expand my capacity to see and understand, praise will mount up to You.  Truly You are a good and kind God and a generous, just, and humble King. You love righteousness and hate wickedness. There is no other King like You nor anyone who will ever be as happy and joyful as You are!

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October 25, 2011

You Uphold the Needy

Homeless Portrait

"I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy. Surely the righteous will praise your name, and the upright will live in your presence." Psalm 140:12-13

 O Lord, I look to You - You who secure justice for the poor and uphold the needy's cause. Everywhere I turn I see the poor and needy - the news, the web, the latest friend-recommended book, the aisles of Walmart on a late-night grocery run.
The stories I read and images I see cause my own problems and worries to fade into the distance. When the foreground is smattered with pain and difficulty, my own pain and brokenness is diminished.
Lord, even in my most broken places and in my darkest hours, I live aware of One greater. I live with hope. I live with knowledge of You who have rescued me time and time again in Your great mercy and kindness. My "faith history" grows with each answered prayer and unexpected blessing. The testimony of my life shouts of Your goodness.
But what of those who do not live with such hope? O God, You are their defender! Let prayer and intercession not be a remaining refuge for unbelief in my heart! You have done it for me, God, so You'll do it for them! You are the One who became poor - the poorest - to stoop below the neediest and lift them up.
Let the "I know" resound in my soul that You are not far off and distant, unaware of the multitude and the many or just the one who suffers daily. You see every affliction, every blow, every empty stomach, every aching body and heart, every neglected child, every battered wife, ever mom weighed down in worry for her family by the cares of her difficult life, every dad and husband battling anger and isolation because he has "failed" at providing for his family.
O Lord, You do see it all! It is in clear view before You, and your plan is perfect. And though our finite minds with predominantly temporal vision do not comprehend it, Your timing is perfect, too.
So what else can i do but praise You, God? How else can I respond to such a mystery? You are God. We are not. That alone merits praise from our hearts. But yet somehow in Your deep love You manage - in Your holiness and eternal glory - to still look upon the lowly. I bow low and put my face to the dust. Who is a God like You?
Surely I will live in Your presence because where else would I go? Why would I want to leave the presence of One so generous and kind? But the truth is that I do. I leave. I depart and forget and am swept up into the mania of the negative - that which seems to be the only reality of life.
Jesus, would You keep reminding me, keep whispering to me of Your goodness - to this one and to that one for whom it seems that all hope is lost? Tell me again and again until the "I know"  reverberates through my being, renews my mind from the negative, reorients me to the truth, and causes faith and confident though aching prayers to arise.
If I am poor and needy and You look upon me, how much more these ones whose lives make headlines or are little-known but are deeply moving in their tragic telling? Surely You see; surely You hold them in the palm of Your hand; surely there is an appointed hour that You will make all wrong things right.
This is who You are - the King who cares enough about the poorest and most broken of His subjects that He would descend from His place of honor and recognition and become one of them. O most beautiful One, Chief among ten thousand, fairer than the sons of man You are, yet Your form was marred more than any other man!
Let every accusation of, "Where was God when..." find its answer at the foot of Your bloody Cross. Let every cynic who says, "Surely He's far off and unconcerned with my life," stand in awe as he nears that Holiness-filled manger - God approachable.
You care. You really care. You became one of us - forever! You could not bear the distance any longer, so You came down and walked among us! And the truth is that You are still God! You have the power! You will turn it all around! You will leave no stone left unturned. All will be exposed to Your penetrating gaze. The needy will be lifted from their ashes, and You will clothe beggars like princes. The many who were called to the wedding feast will refuse - too busy with their important lives. Oh, but the poor - they will answer! They will say, "Yes!" to a feast! You will have Your reward - the reward You're due for Your great suffering and poverty - and You will be satisfied.
Let my heart rest in the knowledge of You.

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October 17, 2011

Numbered Wanderings

It's a normal day and I sit down to pray again, to meditate, and I find that my thoughts are yet to be fully trained, reigned in, and they fly every which direction - from here to there and back again on endless tangents. Instead of growing in my love for God and His Word during my quiet time, I find myself frustrated at my inability - still after all these years - to "do" prayer well! What will it take to attain to "super saint" status, you know, win the Mary of Bethany or St. Theresa award?
Disappointed by all of my mind's scatteredness, I pause and a phrase comes to mind, "You number my wanderings" (Psalm 56:8). And suddenly I am aware that Someone is watching me. Someone is listening in on my soul's innermost thoughts not yet verbalized. O God, even as I flail in prayer, You're marking it all, numbering it all, and counting it as dear and precious! And in the midst of my frustration with my inability, you tenderize my heart by Your heart that isn't looking for my ability in the first place! Oh, praise God! The striving in me runs deep, and though I have had significant breakthrough in years past, another degree of depth has exposed itself this morning. And now the mere idea, yet alone the reality of such kindness and tender nearness, makes me exhale and rightly look upward rather than inward.
My eyes continue further down the passage and I hear David speaking of his tears that God holds onto. That's exactly a thought I have been meditating on recently! Oh, I feel it again - like a little child with excitement at the old that seems new again - "I hear God!" I never tire of that feeling. All is not lost! I am not an aimless wanderer on this journey of prayer. The purposeful and kind leadership of the Holy Spirit has made me a focused traveler - out of darkness of confusion and into the light of revelation.
My tears You keep! You count my weak moments as precious - enough to be remembered! Why? Why do You choose to be reminded of weakness? Why not make trophies out of the strong moments - times when I did it all right - finally? Why cherish those lesser-than moments, the hanging-on-by-a-thread moments, the times I break, crack, and spill out pain and all manner of ugliness?
I hear You whisper, "Costly." I'm sorry, You're going to have to say that again, what? "That which only My eyes see is costly. Your tears are valuable to Me. They aren't broadcasted. They're kept hidden. They are between you and Me alone. This is intimacy."
You're the God of the secret place - the One behind the closed door, and "even darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You" (Ps. 139:12).
So even in my weakness, Lord, let me do what I can - just as Mary of Bethany. Let these tears that You alone see be as costly perfume in Your sight. And let me knot despise these weak moments - frail and wandering prayers - because they remain reachings toward You, precious to You. And You are a Good Shepherd skilled in the ways of reconnecting straggling, wandering, and lost sheep. In my wanderings, God, come and find me and carry me along the path of life.

      “You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?”
       - Psalm 56:8


Nothing is too hopelessly fractured for You, God! You gather it all in. You write it down, and you turn weakness into the sweetest story told by the greatest Author. Thank You. Thank You that You never tire of helping, aiding, retrieving, molding, writing, or reworking - me.

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